from february 4, 2004

at the tender age of nineteen:

“i am…short-haired, sated, awake.
i wish…that it would be a lovely day.
i think…that peanut butter is the best food in existence.
i want…to run around barefoot.
i have…a beautiful life.
i miss…nothing, at the moment.
i fear…dying young… and disappointing people.
i hear…my dad making coffee.
i search…for a way to escape the madness of the world.
i wonder…if any of the things that happen in Ray Bradbury’s books will ever come true.
i regret…nothing.
i love…everyone… [my boyfriend at the time] tommy especially.
i care…way too much.
i always…say “oh hell yes”. think the oven is on. think.
i am not…quite awake.
i dance…for no particular reason.
i sing…whenever i am allowed to. and sometimes even when i am not allowed to.
i cry…easily, but not as easily as i used to.
i do not always…keep this tactless-bitch persona.
i fight…society’s ideals of the beautiful woman. [lol]
i write…constantly and to no end.
i can always be found at…my cell phone number.
i win…constantly. [lol lol]
i lose…everything. most frequently my deodorant.
i need…to get back to basics.

i am happy…when i truly want to be.

I am glad that, at least, some of these are still true.

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