A tribute to that summer I changed my name to Sui Cadere

Every jerk who knows me knows I have been frequently suicidal.  I wrote this song as a combination petulant shout / resigned sigh at the fact that no, I am not going to kill myself, but that doesn’t mean the urge goes away.

Lyrics:

Tell the preacher that I died but he don’t need to anoint me
Tell the fuckers from my past that they should’ve gone and joined me
Tell my sister that I love her, she’s the only one that I could stand.

Tell my mama to stop drinkin, she’s the reason why I did it
Tell the jealous girls with boyfriends that they did not in fact hit it
Tell my few remaining friends if they know me then they’ll get it
After all, we saw it coming
Never once thought to deflect it

And oh, I wish that I was dead and rotting in the ground
or lying sweetly in a casket with the public saying
what a pity, what a shame, she never played her part,
what a pity,what a shame, she died of a broken heart.

Tell the married men I’m sorry and I never meant to hurt them
Tell the people who are listening that I’m sorry to desert them
Tell the ones who feel guilty that their part was very small
Tell the people who do wonder that I think I love them all

And (Chorus)

Tell the boy who sells guitars that I never did stop wishing
that the girl that he is with now would be kind in her position
Tell the boy in California that I never will stop thinking
Of the meadow that we lay in staring wildly without blinking

And (chorus)

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